What I have learned

A walk into a new life with Daniel, They grow so fast!


Hello my fellow friends,

I know I have been soooo absent! I have had some time to work through some things, and honestly just grieve our recent loss. We were matched with a baby boy, and everything was on target. Our placement date was to happen July 10, but we recieved devastating news July 9 around 6:15pm. Our whole world crashed before us, as we found out our precious soon to be son was very ill. That is a something I never thought I would go through, but honestly I am happy I did. I am not going to post his illnes or much more due to privacy reasons for his birth parents & new adoptive parents, but just know he is being loved. Yes, this devastated us, but I believe it has made us stronger. You know that saying when God closes one Door, He opens another....So true! I am much more empathetic person, I cry at everything on TV, at any ill child I see, or just for all the children around the world that are orphans. I was so compassionate before, but now forget about it! I want to be one of the ones that makes a difference in this world. I realize how blessed we really are to have a healthy son, who is our world. I have let go & let God decide when & who our next child will be. Which I will give you hints, we do have things moving along in our future, but I will not disclose anything until that precious child is in our arms. There is nothing like getting everyone excited & BAM tragedy strikes & all of sudden everyone knows your busines & grief. So until we have a forever baby, only close people will know for support. I will annouce it to the world when they are officially ours!

This summer has been a real doozy for us. I am really ready to climb off this emotional roller coaster, and move on with our life as a family of 4. Though I know all too well that the adoption process isn't like that, we may have to stay on the ride a few times! I have felt every emotion this past month ANGER, GRIEF, SADNESS, HAPPINESS, EXCITEMENT, and I mean what an extreme to go from one to the next.

I also know what a world of pain this process has brought to my family. Especially our mothers. They watched us grieve, and now they aren't that excited anymore. I don't blame them, that little baby boy we named Andrew stole their hearts. They were so excited to welcome their new grandbaby home. It's hard to stay focused & excited for the future without everyone's support now. I have to be secretly happy now, and that kind of sucks. What matters is that Dallas & I support each other. This is our process, our "Casper Baby" ( that is what we call the baby right now). We know they are coming home, just do not know exactly when. I have full faith in our agency and case workers. They have been so understanding with how we feel, and what we have been through. I know it has torn them to pieces too. But hey God is in control here, and he has a plan! I honestly believe he used us to get little Andrew the care that he needs. I am happy he did, he is where he is suppose to be. There is another baby God has picked out just for us. The reason I know this, I look at Daniel! It was quite a journey to him, and he shocked us. I will never forget that phone call December 5, 2007 that made me a MOTHER!! We gained not only a son, but a family as well.

I am happy to be a family, and that is all that matters. There are so many facing difficulties, illness, hunger, and poverty. What we went through changes your perspective on life. Live each day, love your childre, and be blessed. Life throws you curve balls, although it may seem like it's the end of the world, one day you will see good out of the situation. That is what I have learned, and happy I did.