The truth

The thought of 3 children has set in. Am I scared? A tiny bit :) I would be lying if I said No. The little people taking over my world now is alot of work, but I wouldn't change it for anything. I am honored to be chosen again not once, but twice by Camille to parent her children. I know the sacrifice she is making, I was there the first time around. I have recieved many positive and negative feed back on our decision to adopt a 2nd child by the same Birthmother. So I need to set some things straight, get my feelings out.

Thank you to all my supporters without you, I would be a mess. Going down this path without support, and people not loving this child as my own, Hurts. There I said it. How dare you say negative things about our situation. What you all do not realize is this, I love this child no matter what. It does not matter if she decides to parent in the end. No way around it, this precious child is blood to my family, that makes me love this child unconditionally. I keep getting the topic of, is she going to have any more? I have even got the comment "she is just a baby factory". Listen up folks, no one is in her shoes nor mine. You can't disregard my feelings on this matter. This baby GIRL has my heart, and so does Camille. I am so tired of the negative comments about my child's Birthmother. I am honored she chose us again, but she was very upset when she became pregnant again. They were using birth control I found out, but some how some way she was pregnant again. Placing Joseph was the hardest decision of her life, & she never thought she would face that again. So now we are having a difficult time finding her a Dr. that will perform her tubal ligation. I am hoping the agency will help us with this. She doesn't want to go through more pregnancies, and placing them for adoption. She is a courageous woman. Nobody knows her the way I know her. Even if she didn't get her tubes done, it's not my body, nor my decision to force her to do that. So please let that be, & quit bringing it up.

Another thing is without a full support system by several people who are now finally coming around, it has been a lonely secret journey in my heart. Many people don't understand the tremendous loss & journey in my life. I had to accept my infertility at a very young age. I have had so many close calls to becoming a mother of a child, and then have it taken away. You invest so much in the idea of one child, and you lose them even though essentially they were not yours from the beginning. Each child takes a piece of your heart, and you are left grieving & wondering Why? God has his reasons, and I know that. Why do I know that, because of Camille. I have a had a baby in my heart for weeks & the day b4 we were to bring him home it was taken from me. I know it wasn't meant to be, but after all I have been through, I can't say NO. I can't say No to someone who already trusts me to raise Joseph, and I can't say No & tell Joseph when he is older sorry we just couldn't do it. So not only would his birth parents not be able do it, but the Adoptive Parents of her sibling couldn't either. I can't live with that. So I am over joyed with excitement that this baby girl is on her way. I can feel kicks, hear the heart beat, see her on ultrasound, & be there when she is born. That is the closest I will ever be to being pregnant. So please just surround our family with positive thoughts. This what God had planned for us, and I can't deny that.

Thanks for listening