Sensory Integration Disorder

I have been asked to help out a friend with a paper she is writing on Mother's with special needs children, so I thought why not blog it! Here are the 4 questions I have been asked.




How did you feel when you learned your child had a disability?

This is a hard one to answer, as I am still processing this.  I will share what I have come to terms with.  Here is what I knew that I felt from day one...something was different when he came home.  This was one broken child, and I contributed everything to grief from the loss of his foster family.  Also I am his third mother, deep rooted abandonment issues is what I thought I was dealing with.  All the signs looking back were there of Sensory Integration Disorder, covering his ears to loud noises, screaming when would go out anywhere, head banging, tapping his hand to go to sleep, attachement to objects, speech delayed I could go on & on.  I had a pediatrician acknowledge that he had Sensory issues, but said he would "out grow" it.  Just keep introducing him to new things slowly, and as school  begins he will be fine.  Ofcourse that was so NOT the case.  My child was worse, and could not function in a classroom setting or the crowded lunch room.  He came home screaming into a melt down that could last up to an hour.  Crashing into things, the wall, couch, myself, and the floor.  His self esteem was poor, he cried everyday going to school, at school, & ofcourse  worse when he got home.  He was seen as the bad kid for his tantrums at school.  I finally reached out for help through Post Adoption Services, they helped us immediatley.  We began seeing an Occupational Therapist who diagnosed him with his first official diagnosis of the Vestibular Sensory Integration Dysfunction the long term for it.  I understood a little about what I had read, but it wasn't until we saw her that it sank in, and how much help he needed.  She said he has a brain of a 3 yr old child, and he is almost 6.  That is hard to hear that he is that developmentally behind.  My first feelings of hearing this is I feel sad and guilty that I didn't get help sooner.  I was going off of what others were telling me, and instead of my gut instinct.  He is being evaluated through the school, and does meet Elgibility requirements for the Sensory diagnosis element.  It has finally sank in that he is a Special Needs Child, due to prenatal neglect. All of the professionals so far have agreed on this, he has the Sensory Integration due to his life in the beginning in his birthmother's tummy, being a preemie, and his NICU stay.  All of this was out of my control, and I hurt for not being able love him from day one.  So we just move on from here to get him the help he needs to function in day to day life.

How has your child having a disability impacted your life?

I still struggle that he "has" a disability.  I don't see it as that.  Special Needs yes, but until I get an official possible other diagnosis of Autism, I just don't see him as disabled.(probably won't then)  He has come a long way with attaching & bonding with others.  He is a very sweet loving child, and yes I know this is a Neurodevelopmental Disorder, he is my son who runs & plays at home like the best of any of my children.  It  has impacted me in such away that I don't judge a mother with a melting down child in public, I am empathetic.  I love and want to give others with Special Needs my time.  As a mother it has tamed my parenting into more nuturing, rather than frustration of "Why are you acting this way?"  Now when he has a melt down to sensory overload in his brain, I give him deep compression hugs, wrap in a blanket like a hug with a massage on the outside.  Then we do some tactile things to soothe his mood, or a nice jump on the trampoline.  He loves to play ball as well that always calms him.  My parenting skills have changed, and it is a hard adjustment on remembering to PRAISE,  PRAISE, PRAISE my child on everything good that he does.  Acknowleding every behavior good or bad with a new approach.  I am still learning, and so is his Daddy.  I see a new side to him as well.

What are the benefits of having a child with a disability?


I would say the benefits is what I have learned of myself and my faith.  God chose me to parent Daniel, so I have given him control of everything about his care, and our next steps.  With prayer of my Pastor, church family, and myself everything has fallen into place.  I have learned to forgive, and not get angry with his Birthmother.  I will admit I have struggled with this. When you see the consequences of neglect, and you're trying to heal a child that is your heart and soul, it's easy to blame.  The bottom line is he is safe, and she did the best she could, even if that was walking away.  She left him God's hands is how I like to see it now.  I have learned to have thick skin from all the nay sayers of my child's behavior. I have learned to ignore parenting advice from professionals that said he was just a bad kid testing me.  I am a strong Mom, all the struggles just with adopting have made me this way.  I am an Advocate for my children, and don't stand in my way, because I will win. 


What do you (as a parent) want others to know about your child?

Daniel is the sweetest fun loving child you will ever meet. He may not show it to everyone, only those he trusts.  He is soo funny, and is a normal little boy. His favorite thing he is into is the Power Rangers.  He is a fun loving Big Brother, and very protective of his family.  This does not define who he is, he just has more struggles than other children his age

Here is some info on Sensory Intergration so you can see what actually it is.