Wow what a journey! I just thought I would update this blog. Well our Birthmother is 36 weeks & 3 days today. Three weeks ago the baby was weighing around 5 lbs & 4oz. This journey has been a struggle. We have been tested at all ends. I was not willing to give up, and remained in faith that God had a plan. He brought us to it, and will bring us through it.
I have had the roller coaster of every emotion possible. I can honestly say I have never been more positive. I have put my faith into the Lord. He can move mountains, just when you think it's impossible. What got me through this process was one quote by Joel Osteen:
"When God puts love and compassion in your heart toward someone, He’s offering you an opportunity to make a difference in that person’s life. You must learn to follow that love. Don’t ignore it. Act on it. Somebody needs what you have."
— Joel Osteen
Wow! Did that speak volumes to me! I can't explain the pull I have towards Isabella Grace growing in our Birthmother's tummy, it's nothing like I have ever felt before. An unconditional love that only maybe an Adoptive parent can describe, I am not sure. If you ever felt it, you know exactly what I mean. It just feels right.
I wanted to share on some other emotions I have been feeling with this difficult process. One..I am blessed & grateful by infertility, because God has made me who I am today. He had a plan, a plan I couldn't see 17 years ago when I was diagnosed. With that being said, Two.. I still feel the sadness of not being able to feel my babies in my belly. Just Monday sitting at the OB with our Birthmother, I remember looking around with all the pregnant ladies & even with my own potential baby just inches away from me growing in someone else body makes me sad. I wish I was her protector from day one. Then I take a step back, and realize God gave you this gift to parent children who "need" you. He will bless me in more ways than one, I am able to love someone elses child as my own. I am able to love their birth & foster families, a love I never anticipated. Many people do not "get it" I use to worry about that. What matters is that I "get it" for my children. I have grown so much with each process, and just when I think my journey is complete...God opens a door.
Here I sit remaining in faith my great reward is coming! My hospital bags are packed, and it could be anytime now...
3 comments:
Ali, As an adoptive parent I understand completely. I explain to my friends when they ask why I adopted thru foster care - because that is where my child was. Each of us who adopts - whatever way we do it - its because that is where my child is. The child who was born to be mine, even though I couldn't carry him in my body, I carried him in my heart. I wish you all the luck with Isabella. God Bless. Michelle
Thank you Michelle! Our first Daniel was adopted through foster care! We were heading that way again & our 2nd son's Birthmom became pregnant again! So here we are. They were born in our hearts!
Ali, just read your update and am so touched! I'm going to put the Joel Olsteen comment on my FB, thank you so much for sharing that thought!
Regarding your feelings, I too struggle with that 'loss' daily, and daily I remind myself how amazing God is to bring our children from such various places around the world and am thankful for being chosen by God for this journey.
Praying for you and your sweet family as you 'wait' this last little bit! *HUGS*
Anna
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